Escape From Escaping

Last week I heard an inspirational interview with Buddhist nun Pema Chodron done by Oprah Winfrey on her Soul Series XM radio show. The discussion is also transcribed in an here on the Oprah website. I'm touched by how simple life can be if we can agree to put ourselves into a realm of acceptance rather than resisting anything negative that comes up.  Her advice to simply notice when you're "hooked" (aka: getting taken into upset about something), and then pause, take a few mindful breaths can make a difference in how we are able to move forward - with power -- instead of defeat/stress. I'm not going to be able to paraphrase all the great words of Pema here, but wanted to take my "entry a day" self-assignment opportunity to share and appreciate her teachings.

Why No Progress?

After perusing through my previous posts, taking stock in how I haven't posted since August, and speaking to a friend about her active blog use, I just can't help but feel like a big fat failure when it comes to my lack of writing in this space.

Maybe this isn't a big deal.

But maybe it is.

I said writing in my blog was important to me, but then I neglected it. I can flog myself about this all day and get nowhere or I can take a closer peek and get some transformation on the topic.

When looking for the perfect image to go along with my sentiment, I was reminded of the adage, "you're not learning if you're not failing". So that means I'm learning, right? That sounds way too generous for the type of "learning" I've been doing lately. Maybe I'm a slow learner? I can also admit that in the grand scheme of my life, failing to devote myself to analytical thought on my 33-year old life by blogging for approximately 2 years is really not that bad of a fail. After all, I have been busy. But isn't everyone? Let's toss out the excuses and get to the growth.

....Back to the learning part. Here's a few things to learn:

• Do what you say you're going to do or you might just be embarrassed (especially when your commitment publicly written like this blog).


• My creativity hasn't had much of an outlet because of my not sticking to this writing. Lesson: Follow your creative heart and don't leave it by the wayside, your soul needs this outlet to thrive, to stay an interested (and interesting) person.


• The importance of discipline can apply to even the things you love. Case in point, I love writing about life, spirituality, and growing as a human being. Yet I let other things crop up in the way and don't do it. Why would I do this? I haven't applied a discipline to it. Routine and commitment to the routine, especially in the early phases, are key. Behavioral experts say it takes 21 days to "lock in" a new habit. Do I need to write at least something each day for at least 21 days? ...ugh, can I? The truth is, I'd love to! So why not try? Life-hack bloggers and self-helpers give all kinds of tips that make logical sense, but I'm just going to keep it simple and choose to do things that nourish me, that I want to do, and make time for them. If I go the detailed "sciency" route I may get too hung up on it and loose my steam (aka: inspiration). Ultimately, this boils down to doing what's recommended by these life "experts" in the end!

If you're out there reading this and you are good at staying inspired to do things in your life that nourish you...please share in comments! If you're like me and you identify yourself as inspired but you don't have a lot of action in this area, please also share your progress, goals, and thoughts on what might work for us!

Defying History

When I look upon my failure to really be a real blogger, which is rolled into following my passion for writing and thoughts on living -- I think "I cannot repeat this history, as it simply doesn't define me." Perhaps it did. Yet it doesn't. Defying history is a matter of not allowing oneself to focus on (or even take an extended peep to) the past. When I focus on the past, thoughts of discouragement arise. My busy schedule makes it tricky to squeeze in "leisure writing". Excuses arise. Self flagellation begins. You may know this drill...

In my experience, the combination plate of self hatred and past re-hashing are a red light to success and feeling empowered.

Instead, what I want is that feeling of actualization you get when you're creating something authentic. At times I know I've stopped because of doubts about authenticity and what it all means. I tend to get wrapped up in -- and then halted by -- over-analysis. Oddly, I know that one of my talents is a knack in synthesizing information. I'm good at digesting and then re-packaging information to suit the need. Yet I've not often let me do this for myself.

Surely there's something in that. A fear of failure. A fear of choosing badly. Regret, maybe? Absolutely. All those statements ring true. A daily reminder of the fact that inaction is itself a failure, worse than having not tried.

I wonder about synthesizing my interests into a focal point. Or perhaps there's a couple focal points. For example, I have a food blog, and then this blog. Neither of which I have (historically) been consistent about updating. Sure there have been times, but nothing long-standing. Nothing that feels authentic. Do I stop myself because I feel torn between these two areas? Or is it more a matter of letting the daily life take over? Methinks yes. Letting life happen around while I will write again...someday. ugh! Seriously, someday is such a horrid word.

To inspire the right path, I'm going to list some things that bring me joy, light my fire, turn up the heat. The focus on the positive authentic love will foster open creativity.

Things that bring on the juice:
synergistic conversation
walks in nature
post-workout endorphin rush
sharing a helping hand
flowing water
the smell of citrus & mint
music that encourages movement (think James Brown)
luscious food
accidental surprises
paint to canvas
present-beingness

Applying Yourself

This morning I've set out to finalize graduate school applications and I'm feeling a strong case of the blahs. I've done everything BUT work on my application work this morning. So now my work on working on myself over the years has me asking if it's a true "blah" feeling or is it the feeling that overtakes one about to embark on something great...one risking failure along the way? Perhaps I am just tired, it's still only in my warm up part of the day and I've had a long working weekend. I find myself searching for the passion, the excitement, the motivation I felt the last few weeks when I was embarking on the application process.

And so I will just start, because as I learned in yoga, showing up is the most important part of the process. I'll start out by listing the objectives of my writing and I'll allow myself to let go of what comes out from there. Perhaps a brief yoga asana practice will also inspire if I still don't have clarity from there.

On Practicing Yoga and Yoga Abstinence, Understanding Why Your Monkey Shouldn’t Get His Way

I notice when I drag myself to yoga class -- yes sometimes it is really like pulling the dead weight of my body -- I am always happy I went. In fact, I’m always happy right when I arrive. The vibe is very pleasant, the lighting is almost always nice (barring the strange yoga class I once attended at a YMCA gymnasium! Eeek! I won’t even start on the horrible acoustics), Arriving to yoga class always has me looking forward to the stretches and challenges yoga postures bring about for me. Even when I practice at home, I still get put into a calm state when going through the motions and breathing with yoga asana.

On the flip side, the side that has been most typical as of the last year, I will abstain from going or practicing solo. This phenomenon is also known as: “make up various excuses as to why now is not a good time to go.” Its true yoga schedules may not be ideally tailored to the rest of our lives’ schedules, but c’mon out of 7 days in a week I can make up excuses for all of them? Yes! I can! If you need an excuse-maker, well…nevermind. Let’s face it, we can all get really good at making excuses, finding reasons for anything, and telling stories. However, I’m not going to beat myself or you (yes you) up over this. That’s just what the human mind does. Ironically, yoga practice slows down the pace of your mind so you don’t pay so much attention to all that jabbering story all the time and you wind up with more peace overall.

You may be tempted at this point to argue that you really value your mind and its great powers. I’m not here saying the mind is useless. Sure the mind does you some good, but I’d argue it’s more trouble overall for most people. That is, unless you know how to tame its monkey ways. “Monkey mind” is the term meditation practitioners use to describe how the mind jumps from thought to thought. Like a monkey swinging in the trees…branch to branch, just gliding along, then other times bouncing around. The awesomeness of consciousness comes into play when you can learn how to respond appropriately to your monkey swings and also tame your monkey to go sit in the corner while you collect yourself. By the way, this is all still an imaginary monkey I’m using as a metaphor for the uncontrollable thoughts in your head…there’s not really a monkey in your head. Ok, you knew that.

Alas, I think the real problem is it’s my monkey trying to trick me into not practicing yoga. They monkey wants to stay and play, swing around, jump, frolic, flail, and screech for attention. Yoga practice works to tame the monkey, to quiet the mind. When the monkey makes up excuses to not practice, he’s really just preserving his playground. Poor monkey. But see here’s the best part! The monkey isn’t REAL so you don’t have to feel bad for him. When put this way, seems like an easy choice to tell your monkey to give it a rest and go grab some peace and expanded consciousness like your life depends on it. By the way, this principle can be applied to anything (like yoga) that brings you peace and stillness.

Thoughts on "The Grass is Always Greener"

Today upon walking the dog in mid-30 degreeish chill, I found myself wishing. Wishing for that sunny spot. Wishing he would pick a sunny spot to do his business so I didn’t have to stand and shiver in the cooler shade. Thankfully here in the desert, we still seem to have sun no matter what (minus an occasional rainy day), but the winter sun is scarce anyhow. For certain it is not always present during the twice daily dog walking ritual. Shocking, I know..but the dog’s bio break times do not shift with the seasons!

Back to my wishing for warmth…I’d recently agreed to myself to make note when I’m not being present in any way. In reality, who of us really is actually present even half of the day? Probably none, unless you happen to be reading this from a monastery in Tibet. Fact is, it’s a lofty goal. However, my aim is to find happiness, creativity, and momentum inside of the grounding that being present provides. My aim is not to achieve some monk-like satori all the time (though that would be cool). One of the ways I lose presence is by wishing for some better option that I don’t currently have. Why does the mind do this? I am not entirely sure. I think when discomfort arises, it’s only a natural “thought” that occurs. I’m learning to distinguish thoughts from the real me. Thinking about this wish I was taken back to July of this year when I was walking the dog at dusk. Though it had just started to get dark, it was still very hot. Super hot. It had been somewhere over 114 during the day and I was wishing for a cooler climate on that particular walk.

I remember walking by the community pool, and I could hear kids playing. As they splashed and laughed, I was envious of their obvious joy and relief the pool provided them on this sweltering day. I was downright jealous of those kids. Then god showed up. I say this because only seconds later, as the dog and I continued down the path, sprinklers started to bubble up and spray…in the grass right next to where we were headed. I immediately started to trot, then jog, right over to these sprinklers. I walked us both right through a corner full of mist and then back into the dry hot air. Normally being wet with your clothes on would be felt as discomfort, and I think the dog was none too keen about my choice. Yet this particular time, I only felt relief and pleasure at being doused with cold water on this hot evening. I saw this brief showering opportunity as a victory, a blessing, grace provided to me.

I did not necessarily deserve such relief, but I was given it anyway. Moments like these can renew our faith that there is beauty and grace to be found, no matter what the moment, what the temperature, or how perfect we think somewhere else is. Fact is, you are where you are. The good part is that wanting can be used as a reminder for us to get present, to see things that are in fact wondrous about where you are right now. And now. And now.

Aaaah presence.

What ways do you lose presence or find yourself again?

Really Digging the Destuckification

I've recently become reacquainted with Havi Books' blog, The Fluent Self. Not only do I like her whole purpose and concept of "unstucking" yourself from unhelpful patterns in your life, I really like her approach and communication style. Not only is this the type of influence I needed to find right now but I also find her to be personally inspirational and motivating. I downloaded her free sample of the "Emergency Calming Techniques" product and she's got some great things to share to the world. (by the way, no one is paying me to say this.) Thanks Havi!

Unexpected Inspiration

A small commandment I spotted on the Happiness Project Toolbox gave me a lightbulb moment. It said to "be the person you want to be with and fall in love with" (emphasis added). I love two aspects of this commandment: 1)It focuses on being as the active means of "having"...a truth in life I've found hard to comprehend at times, but impossible to avoid; 2)I can't think of a better motivation to be your best self, than to put yourself into the shoes of a person who loves you, an iteration of the golden rule most appealingly put.

Perhaps this inspiring thought has been out there for me to notice before and I've either missed it or dismissed it. I'm noticing now. Sending a thank you to the "interwebs" and all of its participants for this gift of sharing wisdom.

Getting up at 5:30 to make time for yoga is definitely do-able! Summer's early light makes a difference. Namaste!

Staying in Motion When Unsureness Hits

I became inspired today when reading a recent post on White Hot Truth on the "I don't know conspiracy". I would be a complete fraud if I didn't admit I've been my own victim to this very downfall many times. When looking at my own life, and recent surge of happiness and empowerment, where previously I found little, this is one of the areas that's really made a difference for me.

So you come across a lousy situation or state of mind and you simply stand in "I don't know what to do"...now what?, Danielle's posting offers up a very good point. That mentality doesn't serve you. However, that mentality is the first to creep in during the tough points in life. This is the mentality that has people in a lot of unhappy situations.

Reading the post has made me conscious of times when i'm confused but yet empowered and instead say "I will figure it out" (even when I really don't know yet)! I'm then coming from a stance of preparedness and a motive of action. The inactivity of simply stating "I don't know" and then doing nothing from there is of no use if it isn't followed by resolution to find a new possibility.

The Challenge

Every two weeks I will focus on a specific principle. It may be a spiritual, philosophical, or some sort of pop-psychology principle, to be determined by me. Each posting may or may not consist of my observations on the current principle, but the majority of them will be.

The reasoning behind choosing to select such an ambitious goal for myself is that I’ve found life to be better, even easier, when I’m focusing on something larger than the day-to-day concerns of my life. Even as my writings will always come from my vantage point, providing a guiding principle as a framework should prove to be fulfilling.

Inside of this task I’m giving myself, I can’t help but think, who am I to take such a thing on? Surely I will fail to live up to some expectation. However I soon rest easy as I remind myself of the whole thing about life being about enjoying the process and the only way to learn and grow is to fail along the way. But wait, then I worry further, what if I am so full of crap and people call me out on it? This one has me really terrified. We all want to be accepted by others. Yet the fact is, it’s impossible to please everyone. And so, with a heavy heart that is scared to open itself up to the world, I will embark.

Today’s google gadget “Quote of the day” is perfect for such an occasion, courtesy of Jack London: You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.