Staying Focused

I've been having trouble lately staying focused on my personal goal to attend graduate school for becoming a community counselor. I don't doubt for second that this career is an ideal and rewarding path for me. Yet...I haven't made it real enough yet.

I'm guilty of letting it slide. Taking the easy path. Or so I tricked myself into believing.

The path I have historically taken which leads me to marginal success and a mediocre feeling of accomplishment. Did I mention zero in the realm of fulfillment and feeling of usefulness to the world?

Yeah...not a winning formula, though I've stayed alive.

When I look back on that formula, I'm still living it in many ways. Though I have my graduate school interview in tote, I'm not there yet. I want to keep the passion for this career path a daily felt experience. But I let it slide. I don't forget, but I don't stay envigorated by it. I have become consumed by external things, and as a result become grumpy and close to resentful about those other things. Even just the laundry. Or the dishes. Or the fact I have a dirty kitchen floor. None of these things will cause the earth to shift its course, no. Yet they weigh on the spirit if you let them.

So how to stay focused? Devotion. I've realized it takes attention, foster, love, and commitment to your dreams. If you drop them, they will melt and fall beneath the surface of the makings of everyday life. Yet if you foster and hold them tender, I think it's possible they become a part of your everyday life.

This is what I'm embarking on. It's simply and totally huge and enlivening. I'm so not sure how it will look and evolve, and that's precisely how I know I'm on the path to success.

Pamela Slim May Just Have it Figured Out!

Reading today's post on Pamela Slim's Escape From Cubicle Nation today struck a nerve for me. I venture to say it even struck a chord. A whole chord of nerves. Pam not only speaks to me in my recent endeavor to kick my ass back into regular yoga and exercise practice, but also in her very compelling outline of how getting back on the treadmill (so to speak) is akin to the practices to use while escaping the day job.

Here's what I know. Lucky me, I know I really want to write. But what on earth would that be? I know I enjoy writing creative nonfiction. That is extremely broad. So what do I do? Freeze! Nada. Zilch. Void. So sad...so empty. So not proud of myself!

Her section titled "You aren't crazy if you panic while trying to get started" definitely did the nerve-chord striking on me. Go ahead, follow the link above and read her rockin' article. Basically, she recommends writing "drivel" if that's what it takes to get started. Wow. I never thought of that....

She may just totally have this whole 'picking-one-foot-up-and-putting-it-in-front-of-the-other' thing figured out! Let's hope. I'm committed to trying this.

Using Bad Feelings to Get Closer to Your Dreams

Putting my feelers out into the universe and turning dreams into actions has caused me a lot of great feelings....and then some not-so-great sensations. As for the great, I'm finding there is plenty of opportunity out there for success. As for the not-so...well, upon getting myself involved with a potential gig to build up some experience (while also supporting a good cause), those old familiar feelings of inadequacy, fear, and doubt began to surface.

The good news is, shortly after they began to form their nasty destructive recurring thoughts in my mind, I started to call them into question and see these enemies for what they were -- a defense mechanism and not reality. They didn't go down without a fight, afterall, they did cause me some short-term procrastination until I fully convinced myself they were not real, but only feelings. Surprisingly, the bad feelings actually allowed me a new opportunity to think more upon formulating what it is I really want.

Here's how!

When battling my inner-critic who was busy saying "who are you kidding!", "you're not good enough to take this on", or "what are you thinking?", I was confronted in such a way that I began to visualize further into my dream outcomes. This sort of manifested as a litmus test for the inner-enemies' validity. The more I'd question myself, I'd respond to that thought with happy dream thoughts keeping my ultimate goals in mind. Pretty soon the inner critic became a very quiet voice.

All good things in the end, really. Now I think, who says fear and the inner critic have to be your enemy? They're only your enemy if you listen to them and believe their story. If you can view them as merely just thoughts born out of living your life, you can embrace their presence as a tool to grow further. The trick is to keep pushing with the dream, even if you sort of might believe the deceitful doubting thoughts --- just a smidge. A little faith in this process can take you far. Seeing the doom and gloom of self-doubt is only a sign you're on the forefront of something new, exciting, and juicy!