Thoughts on "The Grass is Always Greener"

Today upon walking the dog in mid-30 degreeish chill, I found myself wishing. Wishing for that sunny spot. Wishing he would pick a sunny spot to do his business so I didn’t have to stand and shiver in the cooler shade. Thankfully here in the desert, we still seem to have sun no matter what (minus an occasional rainy day), but the winter sun is scarce anyhow. For certain it is not always present during the twice daily dog walking ritual. Shocking, I know..but the dog’s bio break times do not shift with the seasons!

Back to my wishing for warmth…I’d recently agreed to myself to make note when I’m not being present in any way. In reality, who of us really is actually present even half of the day? Probably none, unless you happen to be reading this from a monastery in Tibet. Fact is, it’s a lofty goal. However, my aim is to find happiness, creativity, and momentum inside of the grounding that being present provides. My aim is not to achieve some monk-like satori all the time (though that would be cool). One of the ways I lose presence is by wishing for some better option that I don’t currently have. Why does the mind do this? I am not entirely sure. I think when discomfort arises, it’s only a natural “thought” that occurs. I’m learning to distinguish thoughts from the real me. Thinking about this wish I was taken back to July of this year when I was walking the dog at dusk. Though it had just started to get dark, it was still very hot. Super hot. It had been somewhere over 114 during the day and I was wishing for a cooler climate on that particular walk.

I remember walking by the community pool, and I could hear kids playing. As they splashed and laughed, I was envious of their obvious joy and relief the pool provided them on this sweltering day. I was downright jealous of those kids. Then god showed up. I say this because only seconds later, as the dog and I continued down the path, sprinklers started to bubble up and spray…in the grass right next to where we were headed. I immediately started to trot, then jog, right over to these sprinklers. I walked us both right through a corner full of mist and then back into the dry hot air. Normally being wet with your clothes on would be felt as discomfort, and I think the dog was none too keen about my choice. Yet this particular time, I only felt relief and pleasure at being doused with cold water on this hot evening. I saw this brief showering opportunity as a victory, a blessing, grace provided to me.

I did not necessarily deserve such relief, but I was given it anyway. Moments like these can renew our faith that there is beauty and grace to be found, no matter what the moment, what the temperature, or how perfect we think somewhere else is. Fact is, you are where you are. The good part is that wanting can be used as a reminder for us to get present, to see things that are in fact wondrous about where you are right now. And now. And now.

Aaaah presence.

What ways do you lose presence or find yourself again?

The Beginning

I spontaneously got this idea to create a blog that will serve as a forum to share my experiences in taking on a purpose-driven life; which I’m beginning anew for this year. Sure I’ve taken seminars, been coached, and gone back to school for classes more times than I can count. All those times have been learning experiences that have gotten me to where I’m at today. What makes this time different? Well, now it feels more like all my living that’s been done so far has combined with my present self in such a way that I’m confident in my ability to actually live a purposeful life. This is compared to just trying it on and walking away. In a word, I haven’t done anything this drastic since I took on the Landmark Forum Introduction Leader training several years ago. Only now it’s different.

Now it’s as if all that I learned back then, and every other day before and since, has culminated in such a way that I’m coming from a place of being that is a contented person who can expand and grow. So, what will I explore?

Along with continuing to work full time in corporate America, getting married, and going to grad school, I will also be taking on the role of an ontologist of sorts, with myself as the focus. Ok, for those close to me, nothing new there, I’m often pondering this or that about life, what it all means, and how to relate to living. At this point, the distinction is: I have no clinging to any specific goal that I believe will magically improve life’s experience somehow. I’ve really absorbed that the living, the process, is where it’s at. So why not enjoy it, explore it, and write about it?

It’s been my experience that writing down thoughts is helpful in so many ways. First, it actually helps me process what it is that I’m mulling over and physically and emotionally experiencing. I truly feel as if creating sentences is much like speaking or chatting to a close friend, it helps me to know me. So why not share it and make myself accountable for continuing the joy? I will create a space where if others happen to stumble upon it and get something from it, then great! Or I could even get a response from someone that contributes back to me. And so goes the whole blogosphere. But in a word, it’s more like a soul-o-blog-o-sphere…or would that be a blog-o-soul?

Sure formal writing has it’s places…and that’s not my intention here. Much of what I will share will consist of ramblings. Don’t worry I’ll leave out my personal garbage ramblings; you know, the kind that might occur in one’s morning pages, espoused by the influential creativity guide, Julia Cameron. As a general rule, my topics will primarily be about living a life of purpose. To me that means being intentional, taking yoga, my health, and spirituality to new and meaningful levels, and being full of compassion and gratitude for myself and others in the process. Afterall, if you don’t enjoy the ride of life, what’s the point of aspiring to goals if I already know the story and outcome?