Since giving up my control over the question of where to flow my creative writing endeavors -- I've been getting glimpses into possibilities like never before. Things are still formulating for me...and this is good. I've been thinking on this process, since think is what I tend to do!Have you ever been like me at times and thought you could outsmart the laws of nature, so to speak? What I mean is, I've gone through much of life trying to define, control, and figure out most everything. Sure I've learned to let many things go...but the things I've deemed "important" in life like goals, aspirations, and my life's path -- have often got me mentally tongue-tied. If there were such a thing.
Here's what it comes down to: I've put too much weight on the importance of living life itself.
Sure it is important, but what I'm seeing now is that the beauty and adventure in life is letting yourself go inside of it. I've always thought "I must figure it out, and have the right answer", before I can move on. Gosh, so much pressure, right?! But yet, I can see that it is the mystery within the unfolding that is life's gift. I'm not suggesting to simply toss your hands up and passively live without any aim whatsoever. What I'm saying is that it's been my practice to over-analyze to the point of paralysis. To attempt to control what cannot be controlled. To falsly endeavor to answer what is a feeling, intuition -- which is...unanswerable.
Yet I'm such a good intuitor. Why is it so hard to trust in that part of yourself? Perhaps it is because our intuitive knowledge doesn't always jive with logical thought and standard practices. The fact I am analyzing intuitive information using intellectual thought is at the very crux of the matter. At this moment, though, I can feel that this a gift to myself that I've previously not allowed myself to realize. I've "proven" that intuition is worth following; despite what it may look like on the surface.
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