Aiming High

One of Gretchen Rubin's recent happiness quotes of the day struck me as refreshingly optomistic: 

"In the long run men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, though they should fail immediately, they had better aim at something high."
— Henry David Thoreau

Cartoon from Savage Chickens

This Thoreau quote reminds me of a famous chef quote that my husband often spouts when talking about always shooting to achieve perfection in the kitchen.  The key is to remember the ideal of perfection likely doesn't exist, so don't beat yourself up when you don't get there.  This is no reason not to aim that high, however -- because of the lofty goal, you are bound to land in a place that makes you proud.

Thoughts on Wants & Attachment

I've spent a lot of time in my life attached to certain outcomes. Of course we all want what we deem the best possible outcome in any situation. It could be as huge as a life milestone or as small as the next moment's desire.  What struck me today, and has struck me many times before, is that wanting and being attached to what we want are totally different things -- causing totally different outcomes.

Somewhere along the lines of the last 33 years I bought into a notion that "wanting hard enough" or "trying hard enough" was the way to go.  I don't even know if I so much thought that's what wins the race, but I certainly have practiced my fair share of being attached to outcomes versus simply being in tune with my goals and wants.  Most life coaches will tell you that attachment breeds unhappiness. We do better to let things unfold inside of our intentions in order to achieve a happy and successful life.

Following the guidance of The Law of Attraction we could be tempted to think that attaching ourselves strongly to our wants is the way to achieve our desires.  Yet when you take a look at what happens when we are attached to a specific name, form, or outcome - we become locked into those specifics, unable to see or experience other things that may actually result in fulfilling the same want. The reality is that we do not have any control of our environment. Believing attachment will get you what you want is a belief that we have such control. What we can control is what we think about. We fool ourselves into thinking it will be so if we focus hard enough.  We enlighten ourselves if we honor and allow what we want to simply happen as it may. 

A tough lesson.  Sometimes counter-intuitive. Though always good news when you remember this principle.

Even in the simple act of walking the dog sometimes I notice a change in how he pulls on the leash so hard the more I try to control him.  When I relax and quit trying to impose my will upon the dog, he becomes much easier to manage.

sniff sniff..what's that I smell?

A few evenings ago, while falling asleep, I had a strange thing happen.  I suddenly had a memory, a faint one, of a smell from my past. I can't really describe it here, but that's not really the point.  The smell triggered in me not only a memory of a certain age range (teenage), but also a certain set of emotions.  I'd never really remembered a smell before, typically it's the opposite. At least it is for me. The human brain is known for sensing a smell specific from our past and it marvelously recalls an event, place, and/or feelings that go along with it.  Apparently even corporate marketing has taken to using smells to encourage sales.

I think it's a really powerful thing to imagine a smell can encourage a set of memories, but fascinating to think about the impact of triggering emotions.


What if you could somehow modify or encourage your emotions through a smell (aroma) therapy, of sorts?
 I suppose this is what all the aromatherapy experts out there are claiming to do.

Taken a different direction, as with my recent experience, could we potentially train our brains to recall a specific smell that makes us happy...or whatever emotion we're looking for at the time.  This could be applied not only to behavioral therapy but also the obvious marketing, and perhaps even theatrics training.  Maybe I'm nuts to think about this, but I think there's something valuable to be had in taking advantage of smells you know will make you your best self. What types of smells boost you to be your best? Food for thought found here from a local smell and flower essence expert I know.

Missed another day...oh well!

Yesterday I didn't get around to patching in here and jotting down a post.
Oh well.

You know, I really put unnecessary pressures on myself sometimes. I appreciate that my intention to write consistently for a 21 day period has kept me more in tune with my writing. I don't think I will be doing it daily, however. Daily writing is a goal, but it's a goal that is totally fine if it causes me to write at least 3 days a week.



Since this post is really about my lack of posting yesterday, I expect to have another more substantive post later today.

Learning Silence

Lately I've been acknowledging and thinking upon how I'm not always graceful in the face of criticism. It harkens me back to days as a child when other kids, or my same-aged cousin would unfairly tease me or lie about me.  I can see how it can make others crazy when anything you say to them that is remotely negative is fired back with a defense mechanism.  However, I always seem to get hooked when I feel unjustly treated.

How do I go about identifying what's a warranted response versus a time when I just need to suck up that I was wrong or my reasoning simply doesn't need to be heard?  I'm not sure about this yet.  I'm sure I'll laugh about this question one day, but right now I don't know the answer. I think it confuses me because of lack of practice anything but my age-old defense process. Inside of not knowing anything else, I'm committing myself to practicing silence in the face of criticism (or perceived criticism, in cases where none exists).  The silence will allow me space to collect reality, move through uncomfortable emotions, and respond appropriately instead of reacting.  In many cases, I think I will realize that just because it makes me uncomfortable to be wrong -- or misunderstood, doesn't mean it deserves the boxing gloves.  I'm trusting that the silence can give me this wisdom I seek.