Inspirational Quote

Being intelligent is not being studious. It's knowing how to be fulfilled in all circumstances.

-Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Really Digging the Destuckification

I've recently become reacquainted with Havi Books' blog, The Fluent Self. Not only do I like her whole purpose and concept of "unstucking" yourself from unhelpful patterns in your life, I really like her approach and communication style. Not only is this the type of influence I needed to find right now but I also find her to be personally inspirational and motivating. I downloaded her free sample of the "Emergency Calming Techniques" product and she's got some great things to share to the world. (by the way, no one is paying me to say this.) Thanks Havi!

Anatomy of a Posting

After publishing my post yesterday about my great triumph over fear and self-doubt...I sort of felt like a fraud. Not in the sense that I wrote anything untrue, but I felt I did not give enough credence to the very real self-esteem blow and discomfort my fear-induced inner critic caused me for several days. I also failed to mention that I had no real clue about my own effective recovery process while it was happening. I know I wrote about how my fears did start to take hold and I began to question what was really going on, then I began to challenge the fear by visualizing my own success and keeping my eyes on the prize, as it were...yadda yadda. We all love happy endings, right?

Well, what's really funny is that when I sat down to write that post, I wasn't fully aware even of what had transpired between my fear and me. I knew I felt better...yes, that part was salient for me. Yet when the fingers first hit the keyboard, I assumed I was about to write about how this fear came up for me when I started to dip more of myself into the juice of life. Simple as that. No part of me was really aware of the how and why I actually felt better, more confident, less fearful. Until I started writing about it. Literally, the very construction of that post led me to do the self analysis to see how I'd gone about shutting up the fear monger that lurks.

Innnnnnnnteresting, right? Perhaps not. As an adult, I've always found journaling, any type of writing really, to be instrumental for my thinking processes. To honor my fear abolishing epiphany's true origins, I didn't want that last post to come off like I was this enlightened person who just totally knew how to conquer fear and by golly, I'd set out to do it -- and succeeded! That is absolutely not how it happened. I know now that me responding to my own fears by staying focused on my dreams is what allowed those very fears to shut up and go back to time out where they belong. However, at the time when that was happening, I was not consciously aware of any of this. Through the process of writing that post I allowed myself to understand my own recovery steps and how it happened. Or so I think!

I seem to not have a very full picture of self-awareness until I write. This is perhaps why I crave to write the way I do. Can I get this type of self realization without writing? Should I? Does anyone else experience this?

Using Bad Feelings to Get Closer to Your Dreams

Putting my feelers out into the universe and turning dreams into actions has caused me a lot of great feelings....and then some not-so-great sensations. As for the great, I'm finding there is plenty of opportunity out there for success. As for the not-so...well, upon getting myself involved with a potential gig to build up some experience (while also supporting a good cause), those old familiar feelings of inadequacy, fear, and doubt began to surface.

The good news is, shortly after they began to form their nasty destructive recurring thoughts in my mind, I started to call them into question and see these enemies for what they were -- a defense mechanism and not reality. They didn't go down without a fight, afterall, they did cause me some short-term procrastination until I fully convinced myself they were not real, but only feelings. Surprisingly, the bad feelings actually allowed me a new opportunity to think more upon formulating what it is I really want.

Here's how!

When battling my inner-critic who was busy saying "who are you kidding!", "you're not good enough to take this on", or "what are you thinking?", I was confronted in such a way that I began to visualize further into my dream outcomes. This sort of manifested as a litmus test for the inner-enemies' validity. The more I'd question myself, I'd respond to that thought with happy dream thoughts keeping my ultimate goals in mind. Pretty soon the inner critic became a very quiet voice.

All good things in the end, really. Now I think, who says fear and the inner critic have to be your enemy? They're only your enemy if you listen to them and believe their story. If you can view them as merely just thoughts born out of living your life, you can embrace their presence as a tool to grow further. The trick is to keep pushing with the dream, even if you sort of might believe the deceitful doubting thoughts --- just a smidge. A little faith in this process can take you far. Seeing the doom and gloom of self-doubt is only a sign you're on the forefront of something new, exciting, and juicy!

Reasons to Not Judge Intuition By Its Cover

Since giving up my control over the question of where to flow my creative writing endeavors -- I've been getting glimpses into possibilities like never before. Things are still formulating for me...and this is good. I've been thinking on this process, since think is what I tend to do!

Have you ever been like me at times and thought you could outsmart the laws of nature, so to speak? What I mean is, I've gone through much of life trying to define, control, and figure out most everything. Sure I've learned to let many things go...but the things I've deemed "important" in life like goals, aspirations, and my life's path -- have often got me mentally tongue-tied. If there were such a thing.

Here's what it comes down to: I've put too much weight on the importance of living life itself.

Sure it is important, but what I'm seeing now is that the beauty and adventure in life is letting yourself go inside of it. I've always thought "I must figure it out, and have the right answer", before I can move on. Gosh, so much pressure, right?! But yet, I can see that it is the mystery within the unfolding that is life's gift. I'm not suggesting to simply toss your hands up and passively live without any aim whatsoever. What I'm saying is that it's been my practice to over-analyze to the point of paralysis. To attempt to control what cannot be controlled. To falsly endeavor to answer what is a feeling, intuition -- which is...unanswerable.

Yet I'm such a good intuitor. Why is it so hard to trust in that part of yourself? Perhaps it is because our intuitive knowledge doesn't always jive with logical thought and standard practices. The fact I am analyzing intuitive information using intellectual thought is at the very crux of the matter. At this moment, though, I can feel that this a gift to myself that I've previously not allowed myself to realize. I've "proven" that intuition is worth following; despite what it may look like on the surface.